Talk, sing & read to your baby:
I found it a great comfort to spend time talking to Oscar when holding him hours after he passed away. I found it to be a special ‘memory making’ time to express my feelings to him. I told my baby that I love & always will love him, I sang to him, and retold him stories that I enjoyed as a child. As a parent I wanted to tell my baby what I had wished for his future, my hopes for him....
Bathe and dress:
I wasn't able to bathe Oscar as his skin was too delicate. It was suggested that many Parents choose to bathe their child. Knowing that you can still dress the baby in their own outfit or wrap them in your own special blankets is a huge comfort.
Rocking your baby is a very soothing movement and loving thing to do. It creates another parenting memory for you to look back on lovingly when the pain is not so intense in the future.
Have music playing while making memories:
Many families have reported that when they spent time with their baby who died, the room was overwhelmingly quiet, which added to it feeling somehow disturbing and wrong to spend time with their baby. Gentle music playing in the room, while a family is spending precious moments has been reported to add to the quality and peacefulness of spending time with their baby.
Create a memory bag:
I chose to create a memory bag for the passing of Oscar. I chose not to have a memory box as it was to reminiscent of the casket that I chose for him to be buried in. A bag allowed me to add to it items that friends and family kindly brought for me, the hospital bracelet that Oscar and I wore, candles, white feathers and little mementoes that I collected over the coming weeks. It was also a place that I kept safely any reminders that I cherished from my precious experience.
Create a memory book:
A memory book allows you to record your journey. It documents your days following your loss and is a lovely keepsake for years to come. I chose to make my own memory book and collected photos, feathers, images and cards from friends that reminded me of my precious baby. I asked everyone who attended the funeral to write a little message to Oscar in their and when ever I felt sad or upset I could record my feelings. This really helped me to understand and validate each emotion and stage of grief I experienced and am experiencing.
Planting a tree:
Planting a memorial tree is a great idea. It provides an focus for remembrance, it represents life going on and the passage of time. number of companies operate memorial woodlands – they will plant and maintain a tree for you. Some of these woodland sites are for burial, some for ashes and some for both.
Please see our OWF Shop for a range of ideas to enable you to make memories of your precious baby. All funds raised are 100% donated to OWF.